It’s Okay To Not Be Okay – Episode 1 to 4 recap

Ever since I have heard it announcement I have been DYING to watch this because I am a big Kim Soo Hyun fan! And it’s finally here! I honestly wanted to do an episode by episode watch with me series but I just couldn’t make it in time! But at the moment I’m typing this, we are 8 episodes in and I wish I did a watch with me series because this series deserved it!

Now for other episode recaps and posts on this TV series, just click the link here! Now onto the recap!

Episode 1 : The Boy Who Fed On Nightmares

A cute animation tells a story of a girl who couldn’t make friends because of how terrifying others found her, until one day she finds a boy who keeps following her. The boy says he loves her, which is when she tears a butterfly and asks him – even after this? The boy runs away and a shadow looms in saying she can never make friends to which our heroine Ko Mun Yeong played by Seo Ye Ji says, “Yes, Mother.”.

Moon Sang Tae played by Oh Jung Se

We meet Moon Sang Tae, an autistic man who seems to be having difficulty in working with all the noisy machinery around him. The manager of this unit asks him brother to enrol his in a special school instead and Sang Tae us worried his younger brother is angry.

Moon Kang Tae played by Kim Soo Hyun

The younger brother is Moon Kang Tae played by Kim Soo Hyun, who is not angry and calmly packs up his brothers things. As they leave the two talk about buying lunch. Two adorable brothers indeed.

Ko Mun Yeong played by Seo Ye Ji

We meet Ko Mun Yeong our famed children’s book author who is not so child friendly herself! She is at her favorite restaurant – not because of the food, but the sharp knives she then steals. Her boss, the CEO of the publishing company Lee Sang Min, begs her to have a more pleasing outfit rather than her all black ensemble for a children’s book reading event. Her demeanour is somehow really appealing to me. I can already tell her character will be a special one.

Moon Kang Tae works in a psychiatric hospital as a helper and is shown to have many scars on his body (along with a wonderful shirtless scene haha) . A new patient who tried to kill his daughter and himself due to anxiety disorder is brought in while Mun Yeong travels to the reading event at the same hospital.

Nam Ju Ri played by Park Kyu Young

We see that Mun Yeong’s father is admitted in the hospital with severe dementia and other problems. Nurse Ju Ri from his hospital asks Mun Yeong to sign the papers, which she doesn’t as her consider her father, dead. Ouch. Ju Ri is asked by the head nurse to personally go get the signatures and her colleagues make fun of her when she asks an extra day as well for the journey saying she is about to visit her boyfriend. She either has a boyfriend or its Moon Kang Tae guys because we all know a love triangle is for sure.

As the reading event is being set up we find out that Sang Tae is a huge fan of Mun Yeong and Kang Tae promises him that he will get her autograph. Their first meeting is anything but a fairytale though. Kang Tae asks Mun Yeong to put out a cigarette which is grabbed back and forth and finally ends up in Kang Rae’s coffee cup. Mun Yeong is a literal badass here and I am growing more fond of her, and I’ve noticed ever since the drama “My Love from another star” that Kim Soo Hyun can play the poker faced , patient “I don’t care” act, so well!

We also come to know that Kang Tae switches hospitals every year. Why?

Meanwhile the patient admitted earlier this day tries to find and attack his daughter but is stopped by Mun Yeong who calls him a freak amongst other things. The man strangles Mun Yeong to which she first smiles and then doesn’t – and we see a similar thing having happened to her with her father. That explains it. She is saved by Kang Tae but she takes in her knife and tries to stab him but he holds onto it, bleeding for quite some time. After than Kang Tae loses his job as the management feels someone should take responsibility for the ruckus and Kang Tae was bound to leave anyways. Whatever it may be, that’s unfair.

Kang Tae is picked by his friend Jae Soo but realizes he forgot to get the autograph and tries to fake one but Sang Tae has a temper tantrum and hides in the closet. Meanwhile Ju Ri gets the signatures from Mun Yeong after being taunted by her quite a bit. They also happen to be school mates.

That night Mun Yeong thinks about how pretty Kang Rae’s eyes were (I think so too! LOL) and Kang Tae reads one of her books about how a man didn’t find happiness even after removing his painful memories because ultimately our pain, no matter how big it is, makes us who we are.

That night Sang Tae has a nightmare about butterflies – which means one thing – it’s time to move again. What?

The next day Kang Tae receives a call and goes to the publishing company only to meet Mun Yeong as well. The two have a tense staring conversation and a flashback to a boy following a girl and being saved from drowning. Mun Yeong asks him if he was scared of the girl to which he replies he liked the girl. We then see a flashback of a young Mun Yeong looking at a young Kang Tae outside her balcony at a creepy but grand house.

Episode 2 : The Lady In The Red Shoes

A short flashback shows Kang Tae drowning when he was young and Mun Yeong plucking flower petals to decide whether she should help or not. She eventually saves him and we are back to the present where Kang Tae talks about looking into her eyes until the CEO guy interrupts and mentions how Kang Tae came here to get her autograph! A little miffed but Mun Yeong gives her autograph on her book “Zombie Kid” (nice name for a children’s book) and as Kang Tae leaves Mun Yeong asks for his background information as she likes him a d wants to keep him!

In the book Mun Yeong has asked Sang Tae to come to her book signing event and Jae Soo agrees to go with Sang Tae to the event.

Ju Ri meanwhile arrives to see Jae Soo and just like we thought Ju Ri has a huge fat crush on Kang Tae. She later visits Kang Tae at his workplace (they are all from the same hometown) which is when we see a flashback –

Kang Tae’s and Sang Tae’s mother was murdered and the only witness was Sang Tae who kept saying “The Butterflies did it”. Knowing that they may be separated by the police the two run away far from the butterflies. So that’s why they move when he sees the butterflies. Ju Ri mentions about vacancy in her hospital and a rental space in her home but Kang Tae rejects it.

That night he searches the hospital Ju Ri mentions and sees that there is good treatment for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and mulls over it.

The next day Jae Su is drunk and Kang Tae is forced to take his brother to the book sign event. It’s mentioned in a sub scene that Do Hui Jae a famous mystery author who died is Mun Yeong’s mother. At the event Sang Tae approaches a kid wearing dinosaur costume due to his interest in them and gets pushed by the kids father going in a full fledged panic attack. Kang Tae rushes in and cover him with his jacket to calm down which is when Mun Yeong steps in and pulls the dad’s hair and asks him to say he’s sorry much to Kang Tae’s shock.

While Snag Tae calms down in the storage room Min Yeong has an altercation with a sly journalist to which Kang Tae gets involved and teaches her the Butterfly hug method which she can use to calm down but she says she prefers to have him hug her and be her safety pin to be in control. As expected Kang Tae mentions she was born like this and can’t be helped and leaves.

That night Kang Tae asks his brother if they can move back to his hometown to which his brother agrees and they finish packing. We then see that Kang Tae is now working along with Ju Ri. I bet she’s thrilled.

Would that stop Mun Yeong though? No it won’t. We have a voiceover about a girl who was always in her red shoes and dancing in it, that even after an executioner cut off her feet that the feet continued to dance in the red shoes. The story mentions how some things cannot be severed. As the story ends Mun Yeong meets up with Kang Tae in the hospital at their hometown, wearing her red shoes.

Episode 3 : Sleeping Witch

Mun Yeong has arrived back at her hometown and meets up with Kang Tae. She also agrees to take a literature class at the hospital as part of the extra therapy programs but in reality she has her eyes on Kang Tae and wants him.

Mun Yeong returns to the home where she spent her childhood – a home built during Mum Yeong’s birth by her father, as a place for her mother to continue her writing. Kang Tae meanwhile stays on the rooftop of Ju Ri’s home.

As Mun Yeong settles into the cold and eerie home we see a tale of the Sleeping Beauty being recounted and soon Mun Yeong is face to face with a woman – a ghost or a figment of her imagination I don’t know – who says that she may have a Prince that will save her, but the ghost will ensure the Prince doesn’t survive. At what point is this story turning into a horror story? Poor Mun Yeong , I think it has to do with her past, and her condition as well.

The next day Mun Yeong arrives for her first literature class and a new VIP patient is admitted – Gi Do – the son of the mayor who is also up for elections and suffers from manic episodes. There’s quite an animated depiction of how he perceives his manic episodes, it’s quite interesting to watch.

Mun Yeong is still desperate in approaching Kang Tae but he is as indifferent as can be.

Meanwhile Sang Tae arrives at the hospital and Director Oh asks him to paint a mural on the wall at the entrance – as part of therapy. Kang Tae later sees that his brother is collecting money for a camper van so that they won’t have to vacate homes every year and get rebuked by their landlords. Kang Tae, as well as I am touched by Sang Tae’s plan.

The next day Gi Do buck naked, escapes from the hospital and comes to Mun Yeong who kidnaps him. She is eventually chased by Kang Tae in a funny and speedy chase finally ending up at Gi Do’s father’s election campaign. As both Mun Yeong and Kang Tae watched, Ki Do tells how he was not as perfect or “smart” as his siblings were and all he wanted was to be treated like them, for who he was. Although his father claims to shut down mental institutes in his tenure his own son is suffering from a condition. Kang Tae watched with Mun Yeong deep in thought. I have to admit, it brought tears.

In an epilogue we see how Gi Do recounts his whole chase story but it was just him running around in the hospital, and later on a treadmill and he ended the story once his energy wore off. Aahh.

Episode 4 : Zombie Boy

The episode starts with Kang Tae wondering whether he shoukd have fun with Mum Yeong after all, which makes her shocked for a second. As Ki Do is taken away, after being hit by his mother, in an affectionate manner according to him – Kang Tae has a flashback.

Kang Tae remembers getting hit for leaving his brother alone, which led to Sang Tae getting beat up. Another day, during a rain, his mother walks with an umbrella making sure Sang Tae is dry and well, while apparently forgetting Kang Tae. Flash to the next scene on their father’s death anniversary where she recounts how she lives onto to see Sang Tae grow up well and how Kang Tae was born just to look after Sang Tae. Aahhh, I see where this is going. Poor Kang Tae.

As Kang Tae and Mum Yeong travel back, she mentions how she will be there for him if he ever wants to run away, which he of course ignores. Eventually after listening to how she perceives relationships once they start talking about her father, he walks off leaving her alone. At the hospital, many including Ju Ri agree it’s Mun Yeong’s fault the situation was worse and she should stop coming, but Director Oh wants to wait it out.

We see another instance at Mun Yeong’s home where she sees her mother (it was her mother, the ghost in the last episode I guess) combing her hair and calling her the best gift she has. The next scene is of her mother, dead in a room, blood seeping out of the door. What really happened to Mun Yeong?

Gi Do’s father visits and asks for a settlement on all the bad press he now has for the fiasco with Gi Do. Kang Tae is called in and they have an argument which results in Kang Tae being slapped. His day is not going that well. Meanwhile he finds Sang Tae spending time with Mum Yeong. Angry she asks her to stay away and calls her an empty shell amongst other things. Ouch. Guess both their days are not going well.

Mun Yeong eventually walks her father, who asks her why she’s alive and strangles her. She takes it in without acting back, until the hospital staff intervene. She then starts walking, mind blank, and Kang Tae sees her walking while he returns via bus and although intrigued doesn’t stop.

That night he reads Ko Mun Yeong’s book – The Zombie Kid – about how a mother had a son who had no feelings but just a zombie like hunger. She spent many years killing livestock secretly to feed her son, until an epidemic came. She eventually cut off her own arms and legs, until nothing but a torso remained. Having nothing but herself to give, the zombie kid hugs her and says she is warm – what was it the kid wanted – the hunger or his mother’s love and warmth. As Kang Tae remembers how he held onto his mother hoping for some live himself, he remembers Mun Yeong.

He hops on Hae Du’s motorcycle and drives through the rain looking for Mum Yeong and finds her walking in the rain, barefoot. He meets her, gives his jacket, and she falls into him into an embrace.

Aahhhh! I’m loving this! That’s the recap until episode 4! For other recaps just click the link at the top! I can’t wait for more!

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